By James Breen
This year marks the 20th anniversary of my graduation from high school. That still seems weird to me, but what I think is weirder is the growing apathy about attending high school reunions. I graduated from one of the big high schools in the Northwest suburbs of Houston, in a class of roughly 640 from a school of roughly 3000, and less than 10% of my graduating class showed up to our 10-year reunion. Not everyone stayed for the photo, but you can see it’s not a great turnout, particularly considering some of those people are spouses. Comparing notes with friends from different parts of the country, this appears to be fairly typical now.
But it wasn’t always.
Let’s back up though — what is the point of a high school reunion? High school tends to be cliquey to begin with, and in this modern age of social media, you’ve probably done a reasonable job of keeping up with the people you spent the most time with. Moreover, your HS class probably has a Facebook page, Discord forum, or something for the people who want to stay in touch to use regularly. But I’ll bet that whatever it is doesn’t get a lot of activity any random week. I would actually argue that this makes sense and is okay, as the primary purpose of such an alumni group is to broadcast and organize things relevant to that specific community — like a charity fundraiser, or a class reunion.
I get the impression that, because people can use social media, they don't feel like HS reunions matter anymore. “I can and do keep up with the handful of people I cared about staying in touch with, so I don't need or want to spend an evening with the rest of you.” The general inactivity of these online spaces serves as evidence to this point, but as of yet there is no widespread digital activity that can replicate a large group of people all getting in a room and interacting with each other as they prefer. Despite Zuckerberg’s best efforts, to really get that feeling, you’ll need to find a local bar, ballroom, or even the school gym.
Which is to say, the point of a high school reunion is to preserve and foster our sense of community, specifically the community of our youth. “COMMUNITY?!” I hear you shouting into your depression generator, “I don’t even like most of these people, that was the worst four years of my life!” First off, I’m sorry; high school often isn’t the best four years some describe it as (I’m also sorry if it was for you), but people and communities change and grow over time and you never know who you were to someone. We are often noticed more than we assume, but contrary to our expectations we are generally perceived more positively than we expect. Researchers have dubbed this the Liking Gap.
The best of your best.